1.26.2009

Frustration



I've been having an incredibly difficult type writing anything lately. It has nothing to do with the broken laptop key that I can't be bothered to fix. I believe it's mainly a result of being out of practice, but I am starting to get incredibly frustrated with the difficulty I am having of getting things out of my brain and into, say, words.

I'm finding myself at one of those mind-racing-with-things-except-for-when-I'm-near-a-writing-implement sorts of places.

Winter turns me far too useless.

Excuses, excuses. Bullshit.

I am having trouble telling if everything in my brain is simmering and getting ready to turn into something, or if there's just smoke but no fire -- I'm mixing my heat-related metaphors here. I'm having a fair amount of anxiety around, well, actually all my creative processes, and I tend to deal with that badly. There's a lot of second-guessing and a lack of drawing meaningful or interesting connections.

More excuses. I know, I know, I know.

1 comment:

2die4 said...

Well, with the particular key that's missing, your writing problems might have something to do with the fact that you will have to write in run-on sentences without a period and also that your html end tags might suffer as well, but really these things are all besides the point because the 'key' we are missing here will most likely have to do with either a) being utterly over-stimulated with new locations, choices, problems, life decisions and therefore being too overwhelmed to be able to step away from it all and distill any reaction into a cohesive output or b)the also mind-fuckingly difficult adjustment from missoula-la-la-land toward a version of life with people who have had more practice competing for resources and therefore are a bit more seasoned or at least entrenched in their ongoing battle, or c)the fact that you have chosen to surround yourself with generally creative people and maybe you happen to admire them for their output while forgetting to admire your own output and the subsequent meeting of the minds that often fosters even more output, or even d)that you are in a state of such overwhelming creative desire that trying to decide which outlet (writing/design/music/etc) would best define your current state of affairs, and even e)that having to write in run-on sentences (such as this one) can be fun or at least playfully annoying enough to bring you to the conclusion f)that the real answer is all of the above.